Who’s Who: Mike G. and Patricia O.

I have a lot of BTFO things to do today. I do not want to do them. Blog post!

In an effort to make sure you know who’s who on campus, I’ll be doing a “Who's Who” feature on the blog*, so you can put faces and names together, and not say anything embarrassing around Harry Attridge.

There’s nothing I love more than an extended metaphor. I think it’s the anthro major in me. (Next time you have a white board and 15 minutes, allow me to explain how getting into college is exactly like a series of football downs.) In fit of internet boredom, I haphazardly compared Mike G., Dale’s assistant/YDS’s saving grace, to the new search engine/awesome machine Wolfram Alpha. The more I thought about this one, the more I realized IT IS TOTALLY TRUE. Allow me to whiteboard this for you:

Above: Mike and Dale. Since, for some reason, men being friends evokes the same reaction from me as photos of newborn pandas, I’ll stick to noting that Mike is on the left and Dale is on the right.

Many similarities exist between Mike and Wolfram Alpha -- even beyond their remarkably similar color schemes. Wolfram Alpha is a little more difficult to find than other things on the internet, like, say, Google (see below); Mike’s desk is hidden behind a whole row of administrative people who make YDS happen. Much like Wolfram Alpha, Mike’s main job isn’t just to answer my increasingly goofy questions. While he’s happy to entertain almost any query, Mike’s real job is something else. Although I sometimes find this hard to believe, Mike doesn’t just sit around and wait for me to come and ask a thousand random questions. No, Wolfram Alpha is on a mission to make the world’s knowledge computable, and Mike is busy making YDS run smoothly.** Equally formidable tasks, to be sure.

Things you need Mike for:
- sending a Dale Mail
- finding lost and found items OR turning in my iPod to lost and found (thanks in advance)
- getting keys to things which are NOT your mailbox (offices, classrooms, etc.)
- getting Dale’s credit card for student activities purchases
- getting candy

I’ll assume you’re following me so far.

Now. Patricia O., YDS’s receptionist extraordinaire, is exactly like Google. Google is the reception desk at the front of the internet, a gateway of entry into a world of time wasting. Patricia’s desk sits right in front of the main entrance to YDS. Like Patricia, Google is ebullient, charmingly silly, and always happy to see you and say hi. Google changes up its design with the seasons; Patricia’s desk features seasonable decoration AND a sign telling you what’s going on at YDS today (really helpful in figuring out what random conference is taking place in Niebuhr at the moment). Google also manages my (e)mail (and the BTFO accounts, too) – and, as you’ve read here before, Patricia runs the YDS mail system and the commuter lockers (which I guess are GoogleDocs and Picasa in this scheme). You’ll meet her almost immediately, but here’s a photo of Patricia so you can be extra friendly:

Above: One of the few photos of someone from YDS that Dale is not in.

Things Patricia will happily help you with:
- getting a mailbox key
- getting a commuter locker
- figuring out where things are
- finding out what random conference is going on in Niebuhr today
- getting a paycheck (or join the 21st century and set up direct deposit, Denice!)
- getting candy (there seems to be a hold on LifeSavers during the summer, but I remain hopeful they’ll be back in the fall)

Up next: Micah L., the bookstore, and how they’re not anything like Amazon.com. (Because they are more awesome!)

-Kate

With thanks to Patricia and Mike, who allowed their Facebook profiles to be raided for photos. I was very tempted to use the one from Halloween a few years ago, but worried it didn't do either of you justice.

* Which is to say, I will probably do this a couple times, get bored, and then blog my way through August by whining more about the weather. (Sixty-three?!? In July?!?)

** Confession: I have the barest grasp on what Mike's job description is. Just like the particulars of Wolfram Alpha are clearly beyond me! This metaphor*** is brilliant!

*** Wait, is this a simile?